Maintaining Peaceful Relationships
Most of our anger and frustration in life is created by other people. Often we hold our true feelings inside and don't always share how we are really feeling until we are completely overwhelmed. When overwhelm is not managed properly it leads to us feeling angry and frustrated and that is when we normally confront the other person or persons. They feel our frustration and react defensively, leading to arguments and fallouts. We blame the other person for our frustration and feel resentment towards them.
People don't easily change their behaviours, especially when forced, but what if we can still learn to have more peaceful happy relationships where there is an equal balance of love and respect? Keep reading and I will teach you how.
Society teaches us from a young age not to answer back, to do as we are told, to conform and fit in. This often leads to people pleasing in later life. What if teachers and parents spent more time teaching children to be their unique self, be more confident, stand up for what they believe in, listen to their emotions and honour their own feelings? We are often taught that these traits are selfish, but actually children will naturally become more respectful and loving to others once they stand in their power.
So, as a people pleasing society we often react towards other people in the wrong way. The cause of most of our anger and frustrations towards others is by using our masculine and feminine energies in the wrong order. (I discussed masculine and feminine energies in my previous blog Masculine and Feminine Balance).
The trick is to identify when you are feeling overwhelmed by a situation or person before the overwhelm turns to anger and frustration.
When we feel overwhelmed by another person, we often stay in our feminine energy: acceptance, nurturing, empathy. This can lead to anger and frustration, where we go into our masculine energy of control and aggression.
Instead, when we start to feel overwhelmed by another person, we should go into our masculine energy: strength, dominance, logic. This will lead us to set boundaries with the other person. That is when we can move to our feminine energy of abundance, intuition and empathy.
Method 1:
EMOTION: OVERWHELM
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FEMININE - ACCEPTANCE - NURTURING - EMPATHY
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OUTCOME: ANGER, FRUSTRATION, NOT BEING HEARD
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MASCULINE - CONTROL AND AGGRESSION
Method 2:
EMOTION: OVERWHELM
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MASCULINE - STRENGTH, DOMINANCE, LOGIC
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OUTCOME: BOUNDRIES SET
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FEMININE - ABUNDANCE, INTUITIVE, SUPPORTIVE
No matter what we do, people may still feel upset with us. The difference is:
Method 1 will feed the needs of those with bad intensions and push away those with good intensions.
Method 2 will anger those with bad intensions, but create respect from those with good intensions.
It's ok to feel overwhelmed, it is not a negative emotion. Overwhelm is our sub-conscious warning us that we are taking on too much and not honouring how we feel inside. It's important to listen to our emotions of overwhelm and act on them before they turn into negative emotions. Wouldn't the world be a much more peaceful place!
love Sarah Creatrix ❤