Codependent Relationships
Codependency is when we rely on another person to fulfil our emotional or psychological needs. Codependent attachments, whether a friendship, family member or romantic relationship cause us to put the other person on a pedestal, which creates a glorified illusion of how we see them. We do this when we have an inner need to feel loved or supported. Codependent void filling causes us to ignore the red flags and only focus on what we desire from the relationship. When the illusion finally breaks it causes heartache, disappointment and frustration. We try to control the person in the hope that they will fulfil the illusion we created in our heads. This person may have already warned you about their insecurities and issues but the sub-conscious mind chooses to ignore the bad stuff, especially if they do not live up to our expectations. We make excuses for bad behaviour and focus only on what we want to see. Once the illusion can no longer be maintained, we blame the person for all their flaws without taking any responsibility for our part in it. We can't see that we ignored the red flags, and only see the good that we did to try to make them a better person. When we realise we cannot control the other person we feel angry and betrayed. They hurt us, they lied to us, they manipulated us. Although this may have been true we don't see that we actually let them. We allowed this to happen, our codependent needs made us an easy target for manipulation. The unhealed attracts the unhealed, this is why the narcissist and the co-dependent go so well together. When we accept blame for our part in our relationship breakdowns, we can let go of old patterns for good. We can start to heal the voids that we have inside of ourselves that need to feel loved and supported.
Once we let go of attachment and our codependent traits we can attract more authentic people. We are more likely to see people for who they are and start to see behind people's masks. We begin to trust our instincts and trust ourselves. Once we heal and move to self-love, we no longer hold attachments to others, we no longer rely on others to give us the love that we so crave for ourselves. We love ourselves anyway despite how someone else makes us feel. People can no longer affect how we feel because we still feel loved whether someone gives us love or not. Love can then flow to you without attachment, without control, without feeling disappointed or frustrated. We allow other people to be themselves and accept them for who they are without judgement. This enables us to set boundaries and make clear decisions of what you want and don't want in a relationship without the fear of loosing them. We become the master of our own energy and only give our energy to people who add value to our life. We let go of people pleasing and fear of abandonment. We open our hearts back up and release ourselves from the prison we created to protect ourselves from hurt and heartache. We are no longer afraid to love and the love we share is unconditional without any conditions from the other person. This type of love gives freedom to the relationship and leads to true happiness!
Love Sarah Creatrix ❤
To let go of negative relationship patterns and find happiness, work with me on my Trigger Response Healing (TRH) Course: https://www.sarahcreatrix.com/trigger-response-healing
